Ways to help a Turnip who has been incarcerated
If a Turnip has been thrown behind bars, don’t panic. Try to stay strong for them. Many Turnips have never dealt with jail, and friends and family have no idea how to help them or even communicate with a Turnip who has been incarcerated.
First and foremost, offer support, support, support, and more support. If a Turnip is in jail, they are surrounded by people who have ACTUALLY broken the law. Most likely, they feel alone, isolated, and may feel there is no hope. Let them know they are not alone, and there are people on the outside who love and support them. Try to stay strong for your Turnip.
Here are some ways to do that:
- Write letters.
- I can’t stress this enough. These letters are often a Turnip’s only line to the outside world. These pieces of paper are something from their loved ones they can hang on to and read over and over again while behind bars.
- The county jail where the Turnip is held will most likely have a website that lists information on how to send a letter to an inmate. You might need to know their inmate number as well as their name.
- The website will also list the restrictions and rules you must follow to write a letter to the Turnip. Know that you are playing by the jail’s rules, and they can alter these regulations at any time or deny a letter for no reason at all. No, it’s not fair. None of this is.
- Get word out to family and friends to also write letters.
- Add funds to the Turnip’s commissary account.
- When a Turnip is incarcerated, any cash on them is taken and put in an account for them to buy items at the jail commissary. This can be used for deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, candy, stamps, envelopes, and other items. These things are expensive. A box of Pop Tarts in the real world is $2. In jail, one Pop Tart is $2.
- It often costs money for an inmate to be in jail. Yes, you read this correctly. An inmate can be billed daily for the pleasure of being in jail. This money is taken out of their commissary account. It varies, but is probably somewhere between $2-$20 a day.
- Sometimes these funds can be added through the jail’s website, or you might need to send a money order directly to the jail. Again, check the jail’s regulations for more information.
- Be accessible to talk to your Turnip by phone.
- Most likely the Turnip will not be allowed to receive phone calls. You will have to wait for them to call you. If the Turnip is held locally, a local phone call will probably only be a few dollars a call. This could be taken out of their commissary account, or done through a third-party calling service.
- If the call is a long-distance one, it will be handled through a third-party calling service such as Inmate Calling Solutions. Warning – this is HORRIFICALLY expensive. These services require you to purchase phone time in chunks, there is a connection fee PER CALL, and the calls can be $1 a minute. The Turnip has nothing to do with this system – you have to call whatever company the jail uses and give them money by credit card or money order. Then the Turnip can call you and the funds in this account will be used for the call.
- A workaround to using the ridiculously expensive calling services for long distance is to purchase a pre-paid cell phone from the area where your Turnip is held for them to call you on. You will need to use a physical address to use in that area to secure a local number for that cell phone – check with friends or family of the Turnip in that area if it’s ok to use their address, or you can rent mailboxes at a place such as Mailboxes Etc. and that is considered a physical address. PO Boxes from the Post Office are not considered physical addresses, and you have to show proof of residency in order to get one of those anyway. Of course, DO NOT use someone’s address without their permission. I don’t have to tell you that, but I did anyway. Once you have your address, you can secure a pre-paid cell phone with a local number, and then your Turnip can call you locally for much less than a long distance call.
- Visitation
- This varies, but most likely you will have to sign up and be placed on a list to visit a Turnip. Sometimes the Turnip has to place you on a list. Visitation will have all kinds of limitations – again, check the jail’s website for information. Know that they can change this at any time for any reason.
- Here is where you need to put on your game face. Save the crying, sobbing, and venting about how wrong this is for later. You get less than an hour with your Turnip, so put on your game face and remember you’re there to support them.
- Be prepared – your loved one might be behind glass and you have to talk to them through a phone.
- Set up a Facebook page (or other social networking page) to support the Turnip.
- This is a great way for friends and family to keep track of what’s going on with the Turnip’s situation and be a support group for EACH OTHER as well as for the Turnip. Messages from this page can be printed out and mailed to the Turnip to show them how much love and support they have.
- Be professional and positive. Make sure there are multiple admins monitoring the page to remove hateful postings and trolls. This is a page for support and caring, not hatred and debate.
- Also probably don’t have to say this, but I am anyway . . . . Don’t make a negative page against the other parent or child services or anyone in the system in the Turnip’s name. This is not in good taste, and can actually be harmful to the Turnip. Lawyers watch social networking closely for anything they can use against a Turnip. Keep everything posted in public positive and supportive.
- This is also good documentation for the children. Remember, children are also victims of Turnip situations. According to Facebook regulations, a child can have a Facebook account when they turn 13. They will be able to read this page – if not now, later on when they are old enough. If the custodial parent is telling them incorrect information such as, “Your Dad doesn’t love you,” “He’s hiding money,” or “She won’t get a job to help support you,” they will see a page with hundreds of supporting messages for their Turnip parent, and multiple postings with the truth. “I can’t believe they threw you in jail when you were working two jobs! Hang in there!” or “I know you love your children, man – stay strong,” or “You’re a good person – your children will see that someday.” The truth always rings true, and this page is important documentation for the Turnip’s children to have proof one day of what really happened in the courts.
- This is also an excellent way to provide information on how to write to the Turnip, or send money to the commissary account, as well as coordinate groups to attend court dates, or even coordinate picketing groups in support of the Turnip outside the courthouse if you have enough people interested. (Contact us at savetheturnips@gmail.com if you’d like to chat about organizing such a group.)
- Spread the message about what’s happened.
- Encourage people to join the Save the Turnips’ movement. Educate people on the difference between a Deadbeat and a Turnip. Print out the info cards and pass them out to everyone you know. Together we can bring awareness to the public, bring this topic to the forefront of the media, and demand real change and justice for Turnip parents and their children. Together we can Save the Turnips.
Remembering Memorial Day
- – - Submitted by guest blogger Mike McCormick – - -
On Memorial Day it’s fitting to reflect on the sacrifices our friends, neighbors and fellow citizens have made as members of the Armed Services. We repeatedly hear stories from members of the military expressing surprise and bewilderment that the country they swear to defend becomes the government that takes their children when they return home and face the family courts.
Last November The American Coalition for Fathers and Children brought you the story of Ron Zaleski, a Veteran who was walking across America to raise awareness of Veteran suicides. Over 5,000 vets each year take their own lives. Research indicates 70% of these experiences are tied in some way to divorce or relationship failure. In April, Ron completed his walk across the country. Take a moment today, or tomorrow, and give Ron a call or drop him an email and thank him for what he’s done. http://www.acfc.org/site/MessageViewer?em_id=5021.0
One of the most poignant videos about the plight of soldiers returning home and facing the courts is this one filmed by the ACFC’s affiliate, Second Class Citizen. It’s called a “Purple Heart’s Final Beat” and was made as a tribute to a soldier who served his country only to find the family courts could care less.
Child Support
This past Friday, I went to court to see what one of our local judges would do regarding the case of a man who had been incarcerated for the past ten weeks because he was too poor to pay child support. I talked with his 73 year old mother before the hearing and listened to her anguish over her 50 year old son whose ‘crime’ was having lost his job.
As the hearing progressed opposing counsel talked about how he’d been to the county land records office and ‘mom’ had plenty of equity in her home and could readily pay the ‘obligation.’ I listened as this attorney continued to argue for ongoing incarceration, a year or two more anyway. Then the judge just did the right thing and said: “It’s obvious he can’t pay, incarceration serves no purpose, he will be released today.”
So why did it take 10 weeks to figure the obvious? Was it because mom had forked over $10,000 in ransom several months before to keep her beloved son out of jail? Perhaps, but it appeared to several spectators that opposing counsel was simply going to milk the situation for fees as long as possible. One goes home, tens of thousands still in debtor prisons around the nation.
Millions of families have been needlessly destroyed in our nation’s courts. Lawfare is being waged against our own, by our own. It is our obligation as citizens to end this travesty.
The Price of Freedom
After court ended, I drove over to Arlington Cemetery to reflect a bit on the family court drama just played out.
The photo’s at these links speak for themselves. The three silver spires in the background of the one picture are the monument to those who passed in the 9/11 attack at the Pentagon. The other provides just a glimpse of the thousands buried in Arlington. Each Memorial Day a flag is placed before each marker.
Many bikers were already in town for the annual ride from the Pentagon to the Vietnam Memorial. A number of them wore shirts or patches saying; ”All gave some, Some gave all.” ACFC thanks all who have served.
Sincerely,
Mike McCormick
Executive Director, ACFC
